Stupid Prediction
by gustin puckerman
Summary: If there was anything Ray hated, and there's a whole grand list of it, it was prediction. So when his little sister yelled out, "I bet you have six children when you're all married, Ray!" - he didn't believe any of it. Apparently, he should. one-shot.


**I've realized the movie was a 2011 movie. And I'm writing this on June 2013. _Huh_. Just to make it clear, I'm declaring Ray's kid sister (who will exist in every fic of Lemonade Mouth I _will_ write from this moment) will be called Joyce Beech. Just a loud, sweet and cunning little girl I have created and find to love. And WARNING: the language is pretty... _out_ there, if you know what I mean. Enjoy**!

* * *

"I bet you have six children when you're all married, Ray!" His sister exclaimed in joy, as if she'd just announced the ball straight to a delusion fairyland filled with Princesses from _Disney_.

Now imagine these words, spilling out of fucking _no_where, while they were having a wonderful, quiet breakfast in the house that morning. It was just one of those moments, you know — when kid sister's too caught up in her thoughts, he didn't have any say of his mind to speak and all the maids were just moving about, not a sound was heard besides from the birds outside. But then _this_ happened.

_Of course_ it would.

The whole house was just downright allergic to peacefulness; there's always chattering, screaming and clawing going on - and if there isn't, their dead Grand Nana would probably be _burning_ in her grave.

So yeah, when your kid sister suddenly shouted that damn statement pulled from Heaven knows where, you tend to choke on your cereals and your mind automatically went, "WHAT THE _HELL_, JOYCE?!"

To which he really did spit out his breakfast into the nearest napkin he could reach and hollered, "WHAT THE _HELL_, JOYCE?!"

She threw her plastic spoon (that was meant for the goddamn cat she'd begged to keep ever since she found it a month ago- as if the _hazardous beast_ needs to be fed) right at him - probably targeting his forehead, because the girl's small, but she has a strangely good aim — but _missed_, when he dodged it too soon. The spoon clang against the floor and Joyce huffed, crossing her arms in disappointment. It wasn't a complete surprise his sister would be thrilled to see his brother killed by _a spoon_. But no fucking way was he going to let her win!

And _right_ — cursing was forbidden in Beech's household.

So Ray bite on his tongue and glared at his sister. Attempting murder towards a sibling was _not_ cool. But he pursed his lips, feeling the daggers worth of stare burning holes at his back, clearly from their caretaker Rosalinda who had taken care of both of them since they were in diapers. "Let me repeat that — What are you talking about, squirt? And better make sense of it, or someone's not getting a ride to her school today!"

"But we're going to use stickers and glitters in Arts today!"

"_Exactly_."

Ray didn't have the _slightest_ idea how a seven-years-old could duplicate a red tomato the size of a skull by just holding her breath, but that's exactly what happened and knowing the kid's too stubborn to die for goodness' sakes, Ray didn't even care to drop a sense of acknowledgment towards this act of protest. So he continued shaking the cereal box to let the flakes drop to his bowl and poured the milk carton like no shit's bothering him on the moment.

Joyce dropped the stupid act not more than ten seconds later and took a sharp inhale, "Fine!"

But just as soon as the midget opened her mouth to speak, his mind tuned her out almost immediately and turned towards the ugly beast of a cat resting on his sister's side. The cat — if it should be classified as a _cat_, anyway — much to his surprise was named _Rapunzel_ by yours truly, his kid sister and _don't_ ask him why or _how_ that idea spiked her brain to name the creature that, of all things because that cat was _any_thing, but a fucking princess with long, golden, presumably soft hair.

As a matter of fact, the animal was a pure breed of Lord Satan and Hades because it wouldn't take a genius to figure out it was scheming a plan to _cat-slaughter_ him when everyone's not looking. Yeah, okay, so he probably shouldn't have stepped on it's body but how in the fucking world would he know his sister had just adopted the Addams' family pet as her own, Jesus Christ. And because Ray was absolutely _sure_ Rapunzel was trying to freak him out with it's demonic stare, he sent the evil-cat-from-Hell an original hundred-percent Ray Beech glare, top notch, no copyright whatsoever.

Bitch just growled back, that fucker.

Just when Ray was about to launch his ass and _finish_ whatever lives remain in the scrap of the- the- _thing_, Joyce literally screeched into his ears like it's her main _life goal_ to turn him deaf. "Ray, you're scaring Rapunzel off!"

"WHAT?!"

He. Couldn't. Believe. It.

Actually, he could. There is no doubt his sister would side with a goat or an elephant or a _sloth_ over her own blood-related brother. But just to salvage his pride because there's_ no way_ in whatever universe was he going to lose to a Devil-sent _stuff_, he barked, "That creature was totally doing something to me!"

"Rapunzel hadn't done anything, you delusional clown!"

"Yes it did!" Ray glared extra hard at the cat as it emitted some sort of a sound that he assumed was _supposed_ to be a meow and purr itself against his sister's body. Shit was playing with his patient, alright. "You just didn't see it! You _never_ do!"

Joyce scrunched up her nose in annoyance, "Stop being paranoid, Ray! Geesh, she's just a cat."

"That's not a cat!" Ray argued exasperatedly. "A cat would have _two_ open eyes and fur covering it's whole body and can actually meow. That little piece of _meat_ have one working eye, patches of hair that must be some remnants of a drag queen's old wig that stuck to it's skin like it's being glued by a toddler or a _blind_ person, and couldn't even meow to save his life, dammit!"

"RAY!" Joyce shouted. "NO CURSING IN. THE. HOUSE!"

At this point, the cat leaped from Joyce's laps and walked itself away, showing off it's ass right at Ray like it's a million-bucks worth or something. Ray rolled his eyes when kid sister pouted, "Look! You made Rapunzel sad. Now it's going to sulk all day and I can't be there for her because I have school. Stupid school. Stupid Ray."

"Whatever. Eat your breakfast, J. I'm not going to be held responsible when Mrs Smith point her spectacles-beady-eyes and accused me for world hunger when all my fault in reality is just having you late to school — and even _that_ is not going to be my fault because I don't ruin my whole day just because a demon-born cat refused breakfast."

"You're mean."

"And also your only ride to school," Ray warned. "So don't blow it."

The brat stuck her tongue out, "Were you even listening to what I was saying?"

"No." Ray stood, gulped the mango juice down his throat, threw his backpack over his shoulder and picked his truck's key up. "And frankly, I don't wanna hear it. So don't even _try_ to start."

"But Ray!" The girl stood on her own two feet, lacing her arms with her pink backpack and finished her mango juice neatly. "All I'm trying to say is, you're gonna have a lot of kids when you're actually a man and get to marry someone! Isn't it nice? Having a big family! So the house will always be filled with someone. Nobody's gonna get lonely."

At this, Joyce slipped her small hands into his large ones, tugging on it playfully. Ray was careful not to let his smile drop - it was not a secret, although not a well-known information either, that Ray didn't have the best family in the whole world. Most of the times, the only person he really has, he really could count on, was his own sister, no matter how dreadful she could be. And growing up, Joyce only have him to depend on, she tended to feel alone. _Parentless_, the sound of the therapist their mother arranged for her when she was five years old echoed in his head, bouncing off so it kept on repeating.

Fuck Mrs Pickett.

It was one of the things Ray regretted doing - listening in to Joyce's therapist, Mrs Gwen Pickett when she was explaining to Rosalinda what caused Joyce to overreact when she was younger; crying for no apparent reason, wailing around, making a fuss out of everything. Mother was worried, but did nothing than hired a woman to shoo the problem away.

Ray shook his head and drove himself back to the reality, glancing at the skipping seven-years-old besides him. "I'm just saying, Ray," she shrugs her shoulders giddily, then raised her brows. "Six kids! How exciting that could be!"

"Isn't it just too much?" He responded, pushing the midget lightly at the back so she'd climb to the passenger's seat.

"Then, ten!"

"What the—" Ray shot her a look. "Who do you think I am? Super Dad?"

The girl giggled as she tried to climb on the truck. "You could be."

"No way, brat. I've already got you to give me daily headaches, I don't need another ten addition of them."

"Six," the brat clapped her hands together, settling in the passenger's seat. Her eyes glinted upward, smiling brightly, "I just _know_ it. You know, great-Aunt Sophia have always told me that some of us can predict future, and I've been showing some signs of it since I was little— like that one time when I was three, I pushed cousin Louie out of the way and _seconds_ later a car was speeding through?! Or that one time when I told Miss Jamey she should call her mother even though I have _no idea_ who her mother was, and she did, and it turned out Miss Jamey's mother was sick?! Ray, I'm awesome!"

"Brat, shut up!" He jabbed his finger right at her forehead and started the engine. If there was anything Ray hated, and there's a whole grand list of it, it was prediction. It was all bunch of crap - waste of breath. Great-Aunt Sophia was jacked-up, and all of those things Joyce said was just a complete coincidence.

Apparently, he was wrong.

Let's not get into the story of _how_ he started calling Stella Yamada his. But he could only tell you that it hadn't happened during high school. It was years later, he was broader, stronger, more mature— older. He was working with cousin Jack, who's about six years older but has a brain of an insufferable twenty-years-old, and also happened to be the founder of _Emil Music & Co._ and was opening up their next branch in New York.

Los Angeles was awesome as hell, but people were demanding Emil Music from all over the States right then. They kept their stores small so it was convenient and comfortable and shit, but technically it was still _branches_. Ray had established the company in LA like a badass motherfuker he was, and now Jack was flying him to New York; one, because Jack _couldn't_. The dude had a wife and two kids — the eldest was four, the other was one — and he's completely happy where he is. Second, sure Jack was nice and all, but Ray's got a feeling Jack has been trying to get rid of him since Malik, that's his eldest son, learned the word '_shit_'.

And before you can argue, it was an _accident_.

He was keeping an eye on Malik that one day and it just so happened Tina, an employee of his, called to report something he (admittedly) did wrong. It was a natural reaction, you could say and it just so happened Malik was trying his tongue with new words he discovered everyday. Goddamn boy should have been outside playing but instead he was in the living room with him. _Huh_.

When Malik finally decided to drop the bomb, shit just got real. Jack had _physically flipped out_ when Malik muttered that holy word because he's four and he doesn't even understand why it's a wrong thing to say because "Uncle Ray kept saying it all the time." And you could only imagine the torture Jack had cast over him the next few days — he was glad Jack didn't go to extreme measure to actually send the four-years-old to a convent or catholic or even _military_ school just to straighten him out. Thank Jesus.

So anyway, he got his ass onto a plane, went to New York, established the store there and half-year through it, it was already up and running with three fresh employees and even more countless costumers. Then one Stella Yamada showed up — and of course when she pranced her existence back again into his life, she was making a big scene with the employee, complaining something about the quality of their guitar and nobody — and Ray meant _nobody_ question Emil Music and Co.'s product. _Ever_.

Of course, instead of hugging each other because they were long lost friends or something, they got into a fucking argument.

But stuff finally worked out, Ray and Yamada's pride was restored by the end of the week, and they actually become, somewhat, _friends_. Almost. Not quite, though. They caught up in things and he spluttered his comments and opinions on Friends That Never Were, and she told him about what had happened since the glory days of Lemon Heads - and showed him her place of work. She's a physical therapist then.

The drama unfolded soon afterward, but that shit's too messy to even laid out. So he'd went ahead and get to the good part — having Yamada as a girlfriend was _batshit_ awesome. The girl kickass at nearly everything and yes, her vulnerability side could turn her into a grade A bitch or a downright mess of someone who just lost every sense of _thinking_, but for the first time in Ray's life, it was like he was God and Yamada was the Asian Goddess.

And yes, he'd just _have_ to mention she's _Asian_ because that'll turn her level of awesomeness from, like, 100-percent to infinity.

Two years, eight months into the relationship, Yamada came to him one day, on the edge of losing her marbles. She dragged his ass from their group of friends into a dark alley and she looked like she's about to crumble right there and then and she kind of chocked when she's trying to get his attention and Ray just _knew_ something was definitely wrong then. Because Yamada - she just doesn't chock, you know? _Doesn't_.

She announced she was pregnant, a little over a month, and she was. Freaking. Out.

Fuck, who _wouldn't?!_

They were twenty-seven, and sure, things were steady in their relationship but none of them, not Yamada, not him, have even thought of marriage let alone having kids. Things got complicated just as quick as he could blink his eyes— and before he knew it, he was at a bar, chucking every drop of beer he could reach so every inch of reality wouldn't touch him because up until that moment, he swore every person in the fucking universe was out there to get him.

Yamada was attacking him every single opportunity she could, _literally_. He's not kidding, yo. He got a scar of her nails scratched against his skin etched on his left forearm — hurts like a bitch when it happened. And then we have her stupid co-worker, Kevin von Wright, or as he personally liked to call the freak: Kevin von Douche (and other names he had arranged neatly in a list), who had develop a serious _crush_ on his girlfriend and wouldn't back off even though Ray made it perfectly clear for him to stay the fuck off.

Shit disturber was totally smearing Beech's good name just 'cause Ray couldn't stand straight when he had to pick up the title of a daddy to an infant.

Fucker didn't knew about Ray's daddy issue, not that he had want von Asshat to know — _but still_. Ray knew the baby in Yamada's womb was worth every skin, sweat and effort; it was his. It was Yamada's. It was theirs. Of course he knew, goddammit! He was trying his best to be _there_, steady and firm. But neither the Asian-midget or anyone for that matter was making it easier. They were pushing orders into his head, arranging his atoms into being something he just couldn't manage to be. And when he finally blew up, everything just splashed back into his face and became _his fault_.

Well - Fuck. This. Shit.

If Yamada insisted that Lord Dick von Douchness was the better daddy, Ray was totally fine with it. Whatever. He's not stupid to stay at places where people didn't want him. Fuck them. Fuck this. Fuck the guy who was sending him pity glances across the bar. He didn't need him. He didn't need them. He didn't need anyone.

Then his phone rang and it was a good thing he was that kind of guy who didn't get drunk just as easily because when he picked up that phone, Malik was literally _screaming_ into his head that he actually felt his eardrums shook violently. The kid was splashing words around, talking in a speed of which only a F1 could produce, and scrambling his brain in the process. He bet a hundred bucks and twenty-three cents he wouldn't understand a thing Malik was saying even if he was _sober_.

Jack finally, somehow, pushed the brat away from the phone and informed Ray that the kid had won a baseball game earlier that day and even under the whirls of shit life had been throwing at him, he managed a genuine smile — because Malik and Jack and the whole family deserved it. And when he heard Lucy, Jack's wife, forced the kids away from making extra sounds in the background, Jack finally muttered how proud he was of his son.

_Damn_.

Jack was so happy with his family and being a dad, and even though Ray knew he wasn't close to perfect - he can damn well be a good dad. Just like Jack was. And he kinda chocked and it's just his luck Jack was smart underneath the dumbness he expressed and pointed out how he knew Ray was drinking and nudged him to tell what's the problem and that night, Ray Beech cried.

Cried.

With tears and sobbing and everything.

His fucking street cred was ruined. Burned to fucking ashes.

It was horrific.

Then, the most twisted of plot twist happened: Yamada came into the bar - pregnant and all - with tears streaking down her face and hiccuping and Ray was like, "What the hell are you doing here, Yamada?" with his stupid angry tone because even though he cried for her like, a minute ago, he still had to fight for his ego. He knew; he was being a moron. Whatever.

Yamada looked like something shattered inside of her as she spat out, brokenly, "You hadn't call me Yamada since ... "

_Shit_.

He hadn't call her Yamada since a few weeks before they started dating. Sure, he called her a few times with her surname but only when he tried to make a point or something, and Yamada would just brushed it off - because she knew after whatever argument they got themselves into, Ray would be decent by the end of the day.

He frowned, turning to his drink. "Whatever, what do you want? Your money, or something?"

"You." Yamada drawled out.

Wait, wait, let's take a step back now - _WHAT?!_

"I want you, dammit! I want you, Ray." Stella started, angry. This is the thing that's very strange with girls: they could state something that should be said in a very soft-spoken way, but instead they went all Hulk on you as if you just destroyed their best dress and fucking burn their lucky lipstick or some shit. They're all fucking demented, honestly. "I was sitting at our apartment listening to Kevin yapping on about how he would take care of this - this - _this baby_ with me and absolutely have no you in the picture - "

"Not a surprise there," Ray mumbled into his drink, trying to tune the mother of his child out. Not working, by the way.

"- and I was - I realized how really fucked-up that - "

"DON'T CURSE WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT, WOMAN!" Ray, naturally, yelled out - glaring daggers at Yamada. Geesh, they talked about this before. Even made a fucking contract about it. No cursing unless you're 50-feet radius away from the kid - and absolutely no cursing for Yamada for the whole nine months she is pregnant.

It's kinda stupid, he knew, for shielding your kid from the 'censored words' since the little infant's going to grow up and learn by himself anyway, but he wants to keep that innocence, you know? For as long as he could. He didn't want the toddler's first word would be like 'fuck' or 'shit' or 'ass'. That's just, that's not gonna be good for the kid's mental health or something. He don't want him/her to be like a cursing machine when him/her turn into an adult. Damn.

"See? That's the thing about you that I didn't see before," Yamada began, a smile on her face.

Goddamn, Ray missed that smile. "What? That I'm a maniac for freaking out at a pregnant woman? Fantastic."

"That you have your own way of caring, and that way works out too." She told, and came close to him. She's burning holes through his head, but he shrugged it off - keeping his cool, yo. He's a man. He just cried - he's not going to make this even more of an embarrassing night for him. "You're not like any other guy, Ray. You're not going to sit me down and read a really, really long list about how we're going to make this through - "

Ray scoffs, "Who _does_ that?"

"I know right?" Stella yelps, taking a seat next to him. He watches her by the corner of his eyes - afraid because of her ... _growing abdomen_ is kinda getting in the way of her, trying to sit on the stool. Shit, should pregnant woman even sit on a stool? What if she fall? Before Ray could opened his mouth to move Yamada into a safer place, she continued, "That's the point. You don't _do_ that. You act. You don't even think before you act, most of the times. It's a bad habit really, but it's just ... That's the way you are, you know? I mean, like when I cursed, you immediately yell the - the - the _heck_ out despite we're still arguing."

_Arguing_.

"Are we?" Ray asked, scared to meet her eyes. "Still arguing, I mean."

"I want you home, Ray." Stella smiled at him - Jesus, she looked so beautiful. "Please come home."

He'd be the world's biggest dumbass if he didn't come home after that. The house was tidy - from Von Stupid and all of his shit. He couldn't stop grinning out of pride.

On the 28th of October, Penelope Yamada-Beech was born. When Ray first laid his eyes on her, he was awestruck. He couldn't even word whatever he was thinking out. His baby girl was absolutely stunning. More than words. And when he looked at Stella, who practically passed out after she gave birth, he was in love all over again - more than he was before.

Penny, that's his baby girl's nickname, turned out to be the _opposite_ of both Stella and him. Yeah, she looked like her mother and inherited his father's blond hair - but if we're speaking personality wise, his princess almost appeared as if she wasn't at all related to Stella or him. Which was like, creepy. Stella even thought Penny was abducted somewhere in the nursery room at the hospital while no one's looking and was drilled with everything that wasn't, well, them.

Because while Stella and him demanded, Penny was one to obey. When Stella and him screamed, Penny whispered. When Stella and him burst into an outrage, Penny was calm. When Stella and him almost lose their fucking sanity, Penny _won't_. And she's like, only a baby - which made the situation even more _awkward_.

But no matter, Penny was their daughter still.

Whenever Penny kinda crawled to snuggle up next to Ray on their couch, it was probably the most favourite moment Ray could count in an entire day. Penny had this curly blond hair, which he guessed came from his side of the family because when Joyce was little, she had the same curly, blonde hair except Joyce's blond hair was lighter in colour. But Penny's hair - it smelled all baby-like with strawberry or peaches or some shit and it made him felt somewhat high, but like, in a very good way.

Stella always commented how weird he's being when he spend almost five minutes just sniffing out their daughter's hair.

Whatever.

What did Stella know?

So, okay, when Penny was eighteen months old (yeah, bitches - he fucking counted) - that's a year and a half for you lazy-ass shit who's too slow to count it out - Joyce came to visit. Joyce, by then, was reaching up to twenty years old and was taking Law degree and she's kinda a snob and Ray still pretty much hated everything she said, but it's whatever.

"I'm a guest, Ray. Shouldn't you be preparing a tea or something for me?" Joyce questioned, lifting Penny inside of her arms. His daughter giggled softly, leaning back against Joyce.

Ray, from the couch, narrowed his eyes at Joyce. "A guest is a person who is _invited_. I don't recall inviting your as - _butt_ into my house and spreading your demonic tales to my daughter. Make sure you don't infect Penny with all of your ridiculous sh- _stuff_."

Damn his mouth.

Seeing Joyce again brought so many ... _vocabularies_ to come rushing back.

Joyce smirked, seeing him trembled with his sentences. Bitch. "So, what did I tell you, huh? My prediction's coming true." Joyce wiggled her brows, shaking her shoulders at him, while he stared indifferently at his sister, thinking:

What the fuck is she on about _this_ time...

"I told you you're going to have six kids."

"SHUT UP, JOYCE!" God, did Ray hated prediction. Hated it. With his whole heart. Loathed it.

Penny blinked at him.

Fuck. "Look what you did, Joyce. You turned me into a monster in front of my kid," Ray scooped Penny into his arms, who continued to play with her toys, shrugging whatever her father did a second ago. Obviously the toddler hadn't mind - but it still felt wrong shouting. It always was. "I knew you were a bad influence."

"What the- _you_ were the one who shouted at the top of your lungs like your life depended on it, and it was my fault? Are you fuc- _freaking_ stupid?"

"Well, you technically forced me to." Ray replied, grimacing. "You know I hate prediction shi- _stuff_. It's _fudging_ crap, and you know it."

Joyce laughed, then. "_Fudging_? Seriously?"

"It's the best I could come up with," Ray shrugged, finally settling on a cooking channel. He knew Yamada sucks at cooking _anything_ - except for cooking up the best ramen ever and brewing decent coffees; it was time he should learn to cook new recipes. Who knew he had talent in the kitchen?

Joyce stood up, hands on her hips, glaring at Ray. "Just you wait. Six kids."

"SHUT UP!" He threw a cushion - she dodged.

Honest to God, they're fucking children.

Mary Elizabeth Yamada-Beech was practically the reason why they decided on marrying. She came just a little bit after Penny turned two. Just like Penny, she was also an accident. Not planned. At least Yamada wasn't as freaked out. Ray, however, almost fucked himself over.

_Second kid_?!

He still had to change Penny's diaper and they're already have another baby to handle?!

Anyway, he can't change what already happened.

Another nine months of mood swings and weird cravings, Mary Elizabeth came raining on his world, and Stella's too - sure. But unlike Penny, Stella and him were absolutely sure Mary Elizabeth was theirs. _Definitely_. That girl was loud, sneaky and demanding. And she was a _baby_.

Mary Elizabeth looked a lot like Stella : the face, the hair except for the eyes. So, any time she pulled off something really bad - Ray would usually blamed it on Stella.

That usually resulted in Ray getting spat across the head.

Whatevs.

Did he ever told you about Johnson? No. Yeah, okay. Basically, this motherfucker would always fucking with his life. Since the very first time he moved into New York. But Stella tolerated Johnson - so they tried to make peace. It didn't work out.

One day, Ray bumped into Johnson while he was taking Penny and Mary Elizabeth out. It had been a rush of a day, so it's no wonder Ray looked like shit. Johnson grinned at that, and can't stop gloating on about how _he_ was good with children and was sure wouldn't resembled a trash by the end of the day. Ray was pissed off.

Johnson took Mary Elizabeth out from his grasped, blabbering, "Let me take this cutie. Thank God this one looks more like her mother. We sure wouldn't need another copy-cat of _you_ running around in this world. Who knows how many people would go blind from seeing a sight of your two-point-oh."

They laughed - bitterly.

Then, the most amazing shit happened. Mary Elizabeth basically started whimpering and turning green, and then she puked all _over_ Johnson. Now that Ray thought about it, Mary Elizabeth _had_ been complaining about her milk earlier that morning.

Johnson screeched.

Penny was shocked.

Shit was just fucking hilarious.

Stella freaked - thought Mary Elizabeth might catch something serious. At that thought, Ray stopped laughing. They went to the doctor. Mary Elizabeth turned out to be fine, just a stomach-ache. Ray totally high-fived his daughter behind his wife's back.

It was kinda awesome.

Moving on: being a Dad was pretty cool. Ray thought it would be a drag, but he liked the feeling every time he took a photo of his two angels together. Penny was a sweetheart and Mary Elizabeth was a firework. When Penny was four and Mary Elizabeth was two years old, they were twirling around at the living room to _Wicked_ and if that shit wasn't cute, then Ray was sure you are retarded. Like, seriously.

And when like, Penny pushed Jimmy Coulson because the little-Gorilla was bullying his daughter just proved how badass a Beech could be, no matter how quiet she was. Dude, Coulson _bled_.

Stella was kinda mad - no - not mad, _disappointed_ at Penny when they were told to come to Penny's pre-K and found out about the incident. They discussed with the Coulson parents. Little Jimmy Boy would stop bullying, they promised and everything was good. When they got home, Stella was pumping her fists into the air and practically did a_ cheerleading number_ because of how much Penny rock. "Yeah! That kid deserved it for laying his rotten little finger on my daughter!"

Ray couldn't be any more proud.

After that, they pretty much drilled into their daughters head that if anything were to happen like that, getting bullied, the girls better inform them.

Penny understood - Mary Elizabeth kinda did.

She's still two, so Ray and Stella agreed they'd have this talk again when Mary Elizabeth could gather information better.

When Penny was five, and Mary Elizabeth just turned three, Ray and Stella finally welcomed their first baby boy. They fight for the baby's names for about, three days. Until Penny and Mary Elizabeth muttered their choice of name: Cyrus Yamada-Beech. That sounds pretty right. Cyrus is a handsome young baby. Stella teased that Ray only said that because Cyrus looked mostly like him.

She was right.

Cyrus had bright blond hair and his eyes and his face - except the way his smile. When the kid's smile, it was as if Jesus copy-paste Stella's smile onto his small face. It was really odd, but kinda adorable.

Everytime Joyce came to visit, she wiggled her brows at him like she's trying to establish her brows were fucking dancing or something although Ray knew the girl was just reminding him about the whole six kids shit she kept babbling about. She usually stopped after Ray threw an inanimate object straight at her head.

Jack came to visit. Malik was really growing up - he's fourteen - and he was creating a band. He's a guitarist. So he really hit it off with Ray's wife, which was like, alright, whatever, but _watch it kid! That's my fucking wife you're talking to_. Yeah, Stella had three kids already but she's still a piece of hot ass and rightfully _his_ and if anyone dared to link romance with her, they're going to fucking hell.

With the help of his fist.

Anyway, Jack and Lucy were pregnant with their fourth kid - Lucy's big as a house again and kinda old to still be able to pregnant, but Ray didn't care to comment this time. The last time he did, Lucy turned into a complete witch. They had a third kid, the same age as Mary Elizabeth, and they fucking hated each other. Like, they couldn't stand the sight of one another. It was _epic_.

Mary Elizabeth would screeched.

Tami, that's Jack and Lucy's daughter, would scowled.

And then Malik's little brother, the second child, Alec brought his _Canon_ and he wanted to take a family picture and everyone thought it would went out well and okay except things don't went out that way. Mary Elizabeth, that little sucker must have been spending way too much time with Joyce, started to claw on Tami. Tami, having Lucy's temper, respond to Mary Elizabeth's summon to fight.

It was practically hell on Earth.

Or World War III.

It didn't matter what it looked like, it mattered when Alec got it _all_ on tape with his Canon. It took like, three fucking adults to separate the two girls apart from each other's hair and even though it was _serious_, it's really just hilarious.

Stella didn't think so, though.

But, oh well.

Alec and Ray became really good friends after that.

Joyce stopped mentioning her whacked-up prediction after Cyrus turned three years old. And Ray was pretty satisfied. He got three beautiful children and Stella and that was enough. Penny was growing up pretty good: her blonde hair was getting darker and she's very good in basketball. Which was cool. She's still a quiet person though.

Mary Elizabeth's growing up to be a little rebel. She became cheeky and cheekier every day, which was adorable and a little dangerous, if Ray should admit. But she also started showing talent in music after Stella sent her to piano classes. They promised her they'd give her guitar lessons when she turned eight years old. She whined, "I can't wait that long - I'll _die_!"

Which was fucking bullshit, but Ray was smart to keep his mouth shut and let Stella man-handled her.

Cyrus turned out to be a mini-Ray appearance-wise, after all. He's blond and cheeky and had that badass-Beech-look and it's awesome. He's very energetic though, always running around like he's on a chase. So Ray practically quit going to gyms and just played with his son - he looked good for a guy with three kids.

Joyce got married. Ray liked her husband - _enough_. Like, that dude didn't have any criminal record or such and that's always okay. He still gave a tight grip when they shake-hands, though.

"Ray!" Joyce bitched at him when she noticed the pain beat across Eden's, that's the dude, face."Jesus, what is _wrong_ with you?"

"With you as my sister," Ray glared at her. "Everything."

Okay. Let's talk about Joyce's husband's name. _Eden_. When Joyce first introduced and blurted out that name, Ray was hands-down sure his kid sister was joking around. She most definitely _wasn't_.

_Eden_ explained that his name was taken from The Graden of _Eden_, because his grandmother was a firm believer of The Bible and respected that name. He even added that somewhere in Southern East Asia that the name, slightly altered, was mostly used for boys. Yeah, like Ray cared about all of that shit. "But like, that name is mostly for a chick, right?"

Eden looked conflicted, "Yes, but - "

"Right?"

"Yes, still - "

"_Right_?"

Eden pursed his lips, Joyce practically squawked. It was actually kinda funny. And because Ray was older and that guy's gonna need his permission or something, Eden nodded his head, "Yeah, you're right. That name is usually used on a gir- "

"I knew I was right!" Ray pumped his fist.

Joyce was embarrassed.

Four months before Joyce's wedding, Stella announced her pregnancy ... _again_. You could say Joyce was kinda _hopping_ with joy like a little kid because her 'foresee' was coming true. She's a lunatic, really.

Stella was really bad with this pregnancy: she's puking twice as bad, barely could stand on her two feet after she threw all of her dinner out in the morning and always switching between moods making Ray speculated whether or not his wife was actually a bipolar. Cyrus was scared _shitless_ every time Stella kinda blow up, firm that he's fine staying within a few feet away from his mother, always.

By week twelve, they went for a check-up. They brought Penny along and left the other two at their friend's house. Their friend kinda paled up when they learned Penny won't be there to contain Mary Elizabeth and Cyrus together, but they sprinted away before the friend could back out of the deal.

"You better be here like your promised Beech and take your demon-spirited children on time because I swear to god - CYRUS, YOU TOUCH THAT AND YOU'RE LOSING AN EYE - my fucking apartment is going to collapse!"

"Don't fucking swear around my kids, asshole." Ray spatted through the phone at his friend, Jude. "And calm your shit down. This ultrasound won't take like _three months_ to get over it, goddamn. I'll be there as I said I would."

"You better be - MARY ELIZABETH, TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF THAT MACHINE - Holy shit, your children are trying their best to get themselves killed."

"They do that," Ray shrugged. "And if you swear around my kids again, fucktard, I'll burn your Xbox down in crisp."

"Don't - "

Ray hung up.

So, the ultrasound went well. The doctors said the standard things like how healthy the foetus is and the usual pills recommendation, except the doctor grinned at them and Ray swore he saw something twinkle in the doctor's eyes when he exclaimed, "Congratulations Mr and Mrs Beech, I'm happy to tell you that you are having a pair of twins."

Yup.

He kinda blacked out after that.

"No!" Stella gasped, looking at the doctor in shocked. Penny raised both her brows, but she didn't say anything. Ray just saw black dots running across his vision. Twins. _Twins_.

Fucking TWINS.

Shit just got really, really real.

In any other news, Cyrus got her first baby tooth came out when he was running around and hit the wall at Jude's. Of course it's _his_ kid who literally runs into a wall. As Jude claimed, "Blood was everywhere; on the wall, the floor, his_ fucking hands_! And I'm sorry, man - I was spewing every fucking syllable there is to the cursing bible because I literally thought your kid was dying. And God, Mary Elizabeth couldn't stop screaming out like it's her life that I was jeopardizing. I don't know what part of hell your kids came from, but until they're properly trained, I ain't babysitting them alone ever again!"

Cyrus had an obvious hole in between his many teeth and he's always smiling around like he's fucking proud at it until Penny tonelessness muttered that he lose the tooth by running into a wall, and how _lame_ that was.

Back to the twins: the doctor confirmed that one of them was a girl, which kinda excites Penny because Ray saw her grinning by his side. And because Penny was adorable, Ray pulled her closer. The other foetus however was unclear, but by the looks of it, the doctor said, it might be a girl too. Stella was satisfied. Ray was still in shock. Penny was just glad.

Cyrus kinda threw a tantrum when he found out the twins were girls, blaring how he can't take this situation : "I can't be the _only_ boy in this house! Besides from Dad, of course, but he's old and that doesn't count."

Let's just safe to assume, Ray was offended he was called '_old_' by his own kid.

That kid's not even five yet!

The twins develop gracefully, Stella's getting kinda good handling her big belly. She's really proud at it, really - wearing sexy-but-appropriate clothes that showed off her big, round stomach for the world to see. It went off for the next remaining months, until on April 12th, the twins were born.

Fate was shitting his whole family around, really. Cyrus got his wish.

The older twin - the one who came out first - was a boy. The second one was a girl. Both of them were identical twins and so goddamn small. Smaller than Penny was, Mary Elizabeth was and Cyrus was. Mary Elizabeth liked her new siblings, eager to play with them always - Cyrus was just beaming from the fact he's not the only 'man' in the house any more. Penny would just stay quiet by the corner, smiling at the scene and usually helped when one of the twins needed changing of diaper.

Stella was just overwhelmed, Ray supposed.

Jack and Lucy were excited. Joyce and Eden were giddy - they're greeting their first newborn in the up-coming September. Jude didn't look thrilled, "They're more of them?!"

Well if there was one thing that was clear about the twins, Stella and him wouldn't be fighting over the names with these two. They split it up. Stella took the boy to name him while Ray settled with the baby girl. Ray scoured the fucking internet to search for girl's names that started with the letter 'R', just to savour his name. He didn't want the 'R' legacy died with him.

"Too bad I couldn't name you Ray now could I?" He stares at his new baby girl, who just sleeps in return.

After about five days since the twins were born, Ray named her 'Ruby'. Stella sniffed at that name, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, babe. And we're not arguing about this - we had a deal. I named her, you named him." Ray pointed out towards the sleeping baby boy next to his Asian wife, raising his brows.

Stella frowned, dropped her shoulders. "Fine."

"So what did you name him?" Ray nudged his wife.

"Preston."

"Are you kidding me?" Ray sort of chocked.

Stella slapped his shoulder lightly, "What? It's a good name. Kind of grand, also."

"You sound like an Asian geek," Ray commented.

"And how does an Asian geek sounds like?" Stella questions him, jabbing at his chest.

He grinned, kissed her. "Like you."

Things went well after that. The twins grow up gracefully; Mary Elizabeth really finds a criminal in both of them. If she ever gets into trouble, she makes sure the twins were in it too. The twins adore Penny, adoring her gracefulness despite how brutal Penny was in the fields. The girl's really turning into a good athlete. And they enjoy messing around with Cyrus.

Life was good.

Ray saved his wallpaper on when he took all of his kids to Central Park and sometimes he caught himself just staring at it. Mary Elizabeth was hugging Penny and Cyrus was posing like a Superman and then there's Ruby whacking on Preston with her little hand, and you can actually see how Preston just opened his mouth to bite on his twin sister's hands.

A lot of people didn't believe _The_ Ray Beech was the father of five kids - but's it's like, fuck them.

He honestly thought the twins would be the last one, really. Jude prayed really, really hard that_ that was it_. But Stella got pregnant again by the end of the year - the year the twins turned one - and practically threw Ray against the wall. "RAY!" She screeched, "You got me pregnant again!"

She's really mad.

Because Stella's pretty worn-out after five kids, but Ray really didn't know what he was supposed to do about this. He couldn't reach into Stella's fucking uterus to grab the embryo out or anything. That's gross and very, very wrong. It might be like, murdering or something.

But yeah, Ray understood. Raising kids were awesome - but it could be very tiring.

For example, Cyrus' broken arm. Ruby's wailing on the other side of the room. At least they had Penny - she's taking very good care of Preston and Mary Elizabeth. If there's anyone who could keep Mary Elizabeth calm, it would be Penny. Those two were the best of friends.

Anyway, back on the pregnancy.

Stella was going nuts over this pregnancy - taking every chance to hit Ray for 'letting this happened'. So, you could guess that's mostly why he spend more time at work or/and taking the children out. Jude shared the same feeling, "Seriously, another one? Aren't you guys, like, getting too old for this? You guys are like _seventy-years_ old."

Wanna know the worst part about this conversation? Well, for Jude anyway.

Stella _heard_ him.

Fucker got beat up pretty good after that.

Then, their lives took on a sharp turn as the baby came out _way earlier_ than expected. Stella woke him up - it was four o'clock in the morning. She was bleeding all over the fucking mattress which made Ray jumped like three feet back, splattering out, "What the fuck, Stell? What the _hell_ happened?! Are you okay? _Shit_."

Pregnant women just don't get their periods, yo.

Stella cried. Ray shook Penny up, asked her to wake Mary Elizabeth and Cyrus while he went to get the twins ready. They rushed to the hospital that morning and delivered the baby, a little over a _month_ early, to the world. The baby had a hard time because she's still developing and they were all really worried. Even Cyrus stayed awake and Mary Elizabeth didn't peep a complain.

They called the baby _Jane_ after Cyrus made a comment that she looked like Jane from _Tarzan_, which made Ray wondered if the kid needed glasses or was just blind, but he shrugged that matter off.

Jane pulled it through, like the strong baby Ray knew she was. Stella and her got out of the hospital after they stayed there for nearly a month, and Jane continued to grow beautifully. She's a little slow in the walking and speech-development area, but she's okay so far.

Stella made him promise to use condom the next time they_ do it_. Ray didn't object.

Joyce called to brag - Ray hung up before she could form the sentences.

"Da-da!" Jane stumbled to him, now almost reaching the age of two years old.

Ray caught her, smiling broadly as Jane gave him a toothy-grin, "Hey you. Did you get yourself into trouble again?"

Jane giggled.

"CYRUS! GET THAT SPIDER AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK!" Mary Elizabeth ran into the room, screaming on the top of her lungs. Cyrus trailing behind, beaming like a little devil he was. Preston started wearing spectacles for a few months now and pushed the spectacles up to his nose, slightly gleaming at the ridiculous scene, "Haha! Mary Elizabeth is afraid of spider!"

"NO, I'M NOT!" She pouted.

Penny looked over from the television, "Yes, you are."

Cyrus caught up to her, the tiny speck of spider resting on his palm as he shoved it on Mary Elizabeth's face. She let a high-pitched sound, "_DADDYYYY_!"

Ruby glanced up from her drawings and laughed at her older sister.

Ray grinned, "Cyrus, stop doing that to your sister. Don't you have a speech to finish?"

Cyrus found his passion in public-speaking and speeches, and just a little bit of politics. He's pretty mature for a kid, commented his teacher. Ray didn't think so as he glanced at the scene unfolding before his eyes. Jane rested her head close to his chest. Ray sighed.

"I finished it already." Cyrus snorted.

_Of course_ he would.

"Then let me re-read it for you," Ray offered.

"Nah," Cyrus declined, still chasing after Mary Elizabeth who's fighting him off with cushions. "You'd fall asleep half-way through."

"What? No, I won't!"

"Yes, you would." Preston answered, working over to write a full sentence on his book.

Ray flushed. "Th-then give it to Penny! Let her check."

Penny shrugged. "Sure."

Cyrus sighed. "Fine," and disappeared off.

Mary Elizabeth plopped herself besides him. Ray narrowed his eyes at her, "Are you okay, sweetie?"

She frowned, then buried her face into his shoulder, mumbling, "I'm not afraid of spiders."

He laughed, "Of course you aren't."

To conclude this tale off, Ray _still_ hates prediction. Especially if it comes out of Joyce's mouth. She can't be trusted,_ at all_. But as Penny commented on Cyrus' speeches and he frowned, putting on a 'debate' (Cyrus _refused_ to call it an argument) on why he had a point in that paragraph, Ruby chunking off a chocolate and getting called on by Preston who reminded her that she shouldn't be eating that many chocolates, and Mary Elizabeth who's playing with a giggling Jane - Ray's got to admit:

This prediction? Wasn't so bad after all.

_fin_.


End file.
